19: How To Disappear Completely

Kadrey was blind for an entire day. Blind is perhaps not the correct term but in my personal vocabulary and , I believe, the entirety of the English language it is the closest approximation one will find of his 24 hour affliction. The peculiar mechanism that transforms light into the multitudes of the world was corrupted and shapes, colors and depth were lost to the poor man. For an entire rotation of this Earth, Kadrey was not immersed into the inky blackness customarily caused by the absence of light but was trapped in the words of Paul Auster. It is not that this building or that hydrant were beyond his perception but rather that they were replaced by a descriptive paragraph in the style of his prose. Kadrey was quite certain that it was Auster.

After the crisis had passed and Kadrey was once more able to slowly move his gaze through the subtle shifts in the blue of a summer sky, he rather surprised me. "I could have lived with it," he told me, "if I had a good variety available to me. If this car were described by Chandler or this lamp post by Bukowski, I maybe could have lived with it. I could have enjoyed being immersed in words."


20: What a Shame about Me

The heavy silver ball rolls up his spine
Picking up speed and mean
The gray loosens up
Ready to embrace the coming destruction

The end is blind
Skin gets the final solo

The silver ball makes no decision
It shakes a memory loose
It took a week to heal
And is propelled through the gray
Until it hits another cluster
The cold gritty wall at his back
Hot breath rushing out his nose
Waiting for Carl to give up

It's getting darker in his own head
And all sound is collapsing into pink

Standing in a stream
Water is not
One thing
But many snakes
Each with a slightly different coldness
The silver ball is the same
All over and to the core

There is a clear separation
Between the pole pushing up against his leg
And the leg giving up
What was a closed circuit is open
To the whole world
And the world to it
Communicating through pain

The silver ball
Does not loose speed
After a collision
Fifteen thousand pounds
Fifty four miles an hour
Feet off the ground